Go Back   Two Wheel Fix > General > Off Topic

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 11-21-2008, 02:19 PM   #11
smileyman
White Trash Hero
 
smileyman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: NW Arkansas
Moto: Buell 1125R Porco Rosso Edition
Posts: 4,895
Default

"Sweetie, where is the semen?"

"Dammit woman, its right here with the cummin!"

"Darling, can I have some help in the kitchen? The Smiths are coming over tonite and I need you to stir this and then beat off into it..."
__________________

Arkriders.com
To be the best you must first be willing to risk the worst!
smileyman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2008, 10:06 AM   #12
Dnyce
flyin high
 
Dnyce's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: cali
Moto: 10speed huffy w/cards in the spokes
Posts: 2,318
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by smileyman View Post
"Sweetie, where is the semen?"

"Dammit woman, its right here with the cummin!"

"Darling, can I have some help in the kitchen? The Smiths are coming over tonite and I need you to stir this and then beat off into it..."
lol, hey if shes the cook, shes gotta get the semen outta u, preferably by mouth
__________________
"Racing Is Life, Everything Before and After is Just Waiting" Steve McQueen
Dnyce is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-26-2009, 06:51 PM   #13
Mr Lefty
TWFix Legend
 
Mr Lefty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Denver CO
Moto: 01 BMW F650GS Dakar
Posts: 15,677
Default For you women who watch what you eat

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/food/...h-semen-347495


Quote:
Strangest new food concept: Cooking with semen by Epicurious.com, on Thu Jan 8, 2009 1:30pm PST Read More from This Author ยป 116 Comments Post a Comment Report Abuse Exactly how dedicated are you to the concepts of recycling, scrimping and using all-natural products in your food?
If you're willing to put your money-shot where you mouth is, you'd send away for a copy of the cookbook "Natural Harvest," which goes into stomach-churning detail about how to store, prepare and serve semen as food.

Yes, it has really, erm, come to this.

"Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties," the book's description goes. "Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food. This book hopes to change that."

And, yes, it appears to be a real book, and a second edition is already on the way.

Right off the bat, you get a recipe for a cocktail (a White Russian, naturally):

2 oz. vodka
1 oz. coffee liqueur
cream or milk
ice cubes
1/2 oz. semen

Then there are the "Creamy Cum Crepes," which are regular crepes filled with cottage cheese and two tablespoons of man juice. Yum.

I'm suddenly reminded of that Vice magazine where the guy ate frozen lollipops of his own man seed. (And then vomits profusely, if I remember correctly.)

And there are tips I'll bet you didn't know about cooking with sperm, like:

- Semen cooks like egg whites, not mayonnaise.

- If you want good-tasting semen, drink lots of ginger tea (at least that's what the chefs working on the cookbook found out for themselves).

- If you want to maximize your semen output, collect it after a restful night's sleep or extended

foreplay. Suddenly that Family Life class where you learned about "teaspoonfuls of ejaculate" makes sense, huh?

Intriguing or gross? Would any of you try a semen-based recipe? Let the innuendo-laden puns commence!
Mr Lefty is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-26-2009, 06:56 PM   #14
OneSickPsycho
Ride Like an Asshole
 
OneSickPsycho's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Moto: nothing...
Posts: 11,254
Default

I have immediately become a food supplier.
OneSickPsycho is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-26-2009, 11:30 PM   #15
the chi
Forum Coach
 
the chi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: GA
Moto: 2006 GSXR 600
Posts: 7,419
Default

I think I may be ill...
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cutty72 View Post
The Chi hath spoken...
and let it be known that what The Chi hath spoketh, will henceforth be done.
the chi is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-26-2009, 11:31 PM   #16
Mr Lefty
TWFix Legend
 
Mr Lefty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Denver CO
Moto: 01 BMW F650GS Dakar
Posts: 15,677
Default

according to the article tell him to drink ginger tea...
Mr Lefty is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-26-2009, 11:32 PM   #17
Ninjakel
Post whorette
 
Ninjakel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: South Florida
Moto: 2006 GSXR 600-
Posts: 3,992
Default

woah!!!!
__________________
I'm gonna punch you in the ovary, that's what I'm gonna do. A straight shot. Right to the babymaker.

--Ron Burgundy--
Anchorman
Ninjakel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-26-2009, 11:34 PM   #18
Trip
Hold mah beer!
 
Trip's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: 80 Miles South of Moto Heaven
Moto: 08 R1200GS
Posts: 23,268
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by ebbs15 View Post
according to the article tell him to drink ginger tea...
lol........instant classic
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by ebbs15 View Post
according to the article tell him to drink ginger tea...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tigger
Whatever,Stoner is a bitch! O.J. Simpson has TWO fucked knees and a severe hang nail on his left index finger but he still managed to kill two younger adults,sprint 200 feet to his car (wearing very expensive,yet uncomfortable Italian shoes) and make his get a way!!!
Trip is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-26-2009, 11:40 PM   #19
AquaEv77
SPEED RACER
 
AquaEv77's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 377
Default

AquaEv77 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-27-2009, 12:01 AM   #20
FT BSTRD
Tractor Driver
 
FT BSTRD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Franklin, TN
Moto: Buell XB12X Ulysses
Posts: 1,007
Default

So does a pearl necklace classify as a food fight?
__________________
"I do get tired of reading,'my buddy is a racer and says the Buell will never work' I always want to say 'Who the F*CK is your buddy and is he faster than Shawn Higbee?"

--Erik Buell


FT BSTRD is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 03:37 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc.