The MotoGP News 2008 Awards

xx CURVE xx · 01-27-2009, 12:31 PM

LINK

The MotoGP News 2008 Awards
From Rossi to Melandri and everything in between
(27/01/2009)

Best rider

Rossi
71%
Stoner
12%

If there was one thing more predictable than a 2008 MotoGP race it was that Valentino Rossi had reaffirmed himself as the best rider in the world. The lanky yellow Italian may be useless at avoiding the taxman and proving his masculinity but when it comes to motorcycle racing he's the best.

The next best rider

Stoner
46%
Hopkins
22%

In 2007 we had a hard time excepting Stoner as the world champion. The year before we had to accept Hayden as the champion – but we just put that down to an event freakier than the American's weird cousin who has ten toes and no squint. But Stoner's 2007 championship was amazing. The whiny little Aussie pulverised the competition, Rossi included, and we hated every annoying second of it. However it looks like you're ready to accept him as the second best rider...a far more palatable choice than Pedrosa and his rugged puppet master.

Worst rider

Melandri
60%
West
17%

It would take a very special rider to comprehensively beat Anthony West in to being the worst rider. To do so that rider would have to perform so very badly on a brilliant bike. He'd have to be embarrassingly outclassed by his team-mate. Then, when the going got tough, that rider would have to dig deep in to their hearts and cry on their webpage.
That special person was, and is, Marco Melandri.

Most overrated rider

Pedrosa
33%
Hopkins
28%
Toseland
8%

He was set to be Honda's saviour. The new Rossi – with all the skill yet none of the likeability. Even the MotoGP rules were changed to match his personality to the racing.
But, like a crooked postman at Christmas, Dani hasn't delivered and has now won this award twice running. Worse still for Dani and 'daddy' is that the Spaniard's heart seems to have deserted him leaving him looking less and less likely to win. He'll be missed...

Clown of the year

Pedrosa
25%
de Puniet
19%
Melandri
12%

A second award for the mini bull botherer. A comical, clown-like season was nicely capped when the imprudent pairing of Pedrosa and Puig bullied Honda into embarrassing themselves and Michelin by switching to Bridgestone tyres with only a handful of races left. Everyone around the pairing were left with more of a bitter taste in their mouths than the time Kenny Roberts Jnr was trapped in a crate of lemons for six hours.
A few days after the unceremonious switch Dorna announced the single tyre rule...a single Bridgestone tyre rule.

Rookie of the year

Lorenzo
65%
Dovizioso
29%

He wanted to pave his MotoGP route in gold but instead he smeared it with his gizzard juice. But no matter Jorge was possibly the best thing in MotoGP last season...and anyone who hates Pedrosa that much can't be that bad can they? Arise the new King.

Biggest poof

Pedrosa
50%
Stoner
18%
Rossi
5%

Dani Pedrosa was in and out of Dr Costa's mobile veterinarian clinic more times than fiddler's elbow. Dani set out his intentions during pre-season testing when a slight irritation to the rectum (e.g. Charlie Cox) put Dani out of action for 6 weeks. Unfortunately for Honda this put none other than the 2004 All-Kentuckian-Pro-Am Swine fancier runner up Nicky Hayden in charge of a multi million pound R&D project. 6 Weeks and 60,000 miles later the RCV211 went from the class of the field to being the tractor of field.

Best bike

Yamaha
70%
Ducati
25%
Honda
4%

Pre-2004 who would believe that Yamaha would ever build the best bike in MotoGP? Not Max Biaggi. But when the bridesmaid of Jap motorcycling managed to bag Rossi everything changed.
Fast forward to 2008 and suddenly Colin Edwards is performing well on a satellite Yamaha – now that's one hell of a bike. Let's hope the technology filters down to their keyboards.

Worst nail

Kawasaki
91%
Suzuki
4%
Ducati
3%

It's not often that a category is dominated so much by one entry. Sadly for Kawasaki their green nail was so depressingly slow that it needed a radiator fan to stop it overheating mid-race. West and Hopkins stood no change.

Most punchable rider

Pedrosa
17%
Stoner
14%
Melandri
12%

Who wouldn't? Well not me for a start. I'd be first in line to kick him in his ovaries. I'm already fed up of writing about him on this article and there's more to come...

Biggest Surprise

Dovizioso
27%
Toseland
19%
Lorenzo
12%

Despite a bad haircut and being on the slowest of the Slow White Hondas (SWH) the Italian mummy's boy excelled beyond Nicky Hayden's wildest nightmares. MGPN was first to break the news to the world that Andre had impressed Honda enough in the opening four races to land himself a factory ride. Deserved.

Biggest Disappointment

Melandri
38%
Hopkins
21%
West
10%

Ducati engineers knew the GP08 wasn't the bike for Marco when the Italian failed to appear from his horsebox on day two of the pre-season shakedown at Jerez. Having set times that would make a sunburnt James Ellison blush Marco proved on race day to be slower that Anthony Gobert at answering the countdown conundrum. Come the end of 2008 Ducati towed his horsebox down to pastures new at Kawasaki who in turn pushed if off the edge of a cliff claiming they'd never heard of MotoGP or Marco Melandri and certainly wouldn't be around in 2009 even if they had.

Top non-rider you'd like to see attacked by osprey

Puig
69%
Uccio
10%
Foggy
9%

The organ grinder. He thinks he's a big player. He thinks he'll win the championship. He thinks we think he's got real hair. You think he's an idiot. You'd be right.

Best track

Phillip Island
52%
Mugello
15%
Laguna Seca
13%

Could Phillip Island be the greatest circuit ever? It's won this award every single year and in 2008 it received more votes than all the other circuits put together. And why not? It's brilliant. It fast, exciting, undulating and littered with optional extras like suicidal seagulls, violently drunk locals and disenchanted forefather beating their children. Brilliant.

Worst track

Shanghai
22%
Qatar
19%
Indianapolis
16%

For every J-Lo there's a Deidre Rachide, for every Shergar a Marco Melandri and for every Phillip Island there's a Shanghai. Shanghai is pants. You could build a better circuit using the mini metro Scaletrix set with half the pieces missing.
"Oh but it's suppose to look like the Chinese symbol for Chop Suey." Nevertheless MotoGP isn't going back any time soon so the set of commies can shove that up their bean sprout.

Funniest moment

Pedrosa and Puig
62%

You couldn't decide what was your exact favourite moment, but predictably it usually had one or both of these two jokers in it. It's rather odd that two miserable faced, frown-bearers brought you so much joy.

Best crash

Lorenzo around the world
92%

We tried to count up all your votes for Loony's crashes at various circuits. But we ran out of fingers. We then tried getting our computer to count them, but our processor's integer overflowed. In the end we decided that Jorge just wins this award for his single handed attempts to liven up MotoGP by hurling himself around like a chimp in a catapult.

Hardest rider

Lorenzo
46%
Hayden
14%
Rossi
12%

In a season less interesting than an evening with Kimi Raikkonen at least Jorge did his best to provide some outstanding high speed crashes. With all the true hero riders retired by injury the hardness of MotoGP is more wussy than a non-competitive sports day for 'stay at home' dads. Single-handedly dragging some barb-wire masculinity back into our pink and fluffy sport.

Randy's big rider big up

King Kenny
29%
Sliding Jimmy Fish
14%
Paul Newman
12%

King Kenny's MotoGP team was a disaster. Even worse than the time he opened his unfortunately named King Kenny's Kanteen. Luckily we all love him. Especially our bald Pro-America chum Randy.

Ugliest rider

Capirossi
30%

Hopkins
19%
Melandri
17%

Has MotoGP got hotter or is little leaky Loris just getting uglier? Loris fantastically comes in somewhere between chimpanzee and gnome on the ages of man evolutionary scale. But Loris doesn't mind as he still has himself a 'Bernie Ecclestone style' hot piece of Smurfet.

Dreamboat

Hayden
27%
Toseland
26%
de Puniet
25%

Well as he says numbers don't lie and 15,000 head of cattle can't be wrong. We can only presume that Nicky's extended family got in on the act and voted on mass – another reason to add Earl Hayden to your enemies list.

Worst haircut

West
54%
Dovi
8%
Rossi
7%

What's this? An Australian with a bad haircut. Anthony joins ever expanding list of other crappy haircutted Aussies like Doohan...which is the only list on earth to feature the pairing.

None motorcycling person you hate the most

George W Bush
18%

Global credit crunch, hurricane Katrina, 9/11, war on terror – we've had some good old fashioned fun with Uncle W - but when it comes to a no holds barred kick up the ronson then Bush is still your number one.
With Saint Obama now in the hot seat we wait to see if Barack can figure so highly in the MGPN 2009 awards. To be fair we don't care but just hope that Bono gets it next year.

Biggest Beefer

Stoner
28%
Pedrosa
26%
Edwards
16%

Always noted for being a bit of a sour faced whiner Casey managed to drop his fanbase to single figures after this year's Laguna battle. Everyone remembers the race...as it was the only race of the year. Rossi, on the backfoot, refused to let Stoner run away with the race fighting the Aussie tooth and nail. In the end Stoner crumbled and fell of at 3mph. Afterwards Stoner, unable to accept he'd been beaten, claimed that Rossi had unfairly raced and not let him win.

NEW! Norick Abe award for must courageous rider

Lorenzo
39%
Rossi
17%
Hayden
10%

The last, and arguable most prestigious, award goes to our man of 2008. Jorge Lorenzo. He smashed himself up to the point where most of us would have pulled the plug on ourselves but the Spaniard just kept going and going and crashing and crashing. Just when he thought he was on the mend he'd crash some more. But Jorge never complained and sulked. Norick would be proud.

01-27-2009, 12:31 PM	#1
xx CURVE xx SMELL MY LEVER Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Texas Moto: Tards Posts: 1,034	The MotoGP News 2008 Awards LINK The MotoGP News 2008 Awards From Rossi to Melandri and everything in between (27/01/2009) Best rider Rossi 71% Stoner 12% If there was one thing more predictable than a 2008 MotoGP race it was that Valentino Rossi had reaffirmed himself as the best rider in the world. The lanky yellow Italian may be useless at avoiding the taxman and proving his masculinity but when it comes to motorcycle racing he's the best. The next best rider Stoner 46% Hopkins 22% In 2007 we had a hard time excepting Stoner as the world champion. The year before we had to accept Hayden as the champion – but we just put that down to an event freakier than the American's weird cousin who has ten toes and no squint. But Stoner's 2007 championship was amazing. The whiny little Aussie pulverised the competition, Rossi included, and we hated every annoying second of it. However it looks like you're ready to accept him as the second best rider...a far more palatable choice than Pedrosa and his rugged puppet master. Worst rider Melandri 60% West 17% It would take a very special rider to comprehensively beat Anthony West in to being the worst rider. To do so that rider would have to perform so very badly on a brilliant bike. He'd have to be embarrassingly outclassed by his team-mate. Then, when the going got tough, that rider would have to dig deep in to their hearts and cry on their webpage. That special person was, and is, Marco Melandri. Most overrated rider Pedrosa 33% Hopkins 28% Toseland 8% He was set to be Honda's saviour. The new Rossi – with all the skill yet none of the likeability. Even the MotoGP rules were changed to match his personality to the racing. But, like a crooked postman at Christmas, Dani hasn't delivered and has now won this award twice running. Worse still for Dani and 'daddy' is that the Spaniard's heart seems to have deserted him leaving him looking less and less likely to win. He'll be missed... Clown of the year Pedrosa 25% de Puniet 19% Melandri 12% A second award for the mini bull botherer. A comical, clown-like season was nicely capped when the imprudent pairing of Pedrosa and Puig bullied Honda into embarrassing themselves and Michelin by switching to Bridgestone tyres with only a handful of races left. Everyone around the pairing were left with more of a bitter taste in their mouths than the time Kenny Roberts Jnr was trapped in a crate of lemons for six hours. A few days after the unceremonious switch Dorna announced the single tyre rule...a single Bridgestone tyre rule. Rookie of the year Lorenzo 65% Dovizioso 29% He wanted to pave his MotoGP route in gold but instead he smeared it with his gizzard juice. But no matter Jorge was possibly the best thing in MotoGP last season...and anyone who hates Pedrosa that much can't be that bad can they? Arise the new King. Biggest poof Pedrosa 50% Stoner 18% Rossi 5% Dani Pedrosa was in and out of Dr Costa's mobile veterinarian clinic more times than fiddler's elbow. Dani set out his intentions during pre-season testing when a slight irritation to the rectum (e.g. Charlie Cox) put Dani out of action for 6 weeks. Unfortunately for Honda this put none other than the 2004 All-Kentuckian-Pro-Am Swine fancier runner up Nicky Hayden in charge of a multi million pound R&D project. 6 Weeks and 60,000 miles later the RCV211 went from the class of the field to being the tractor of field. Best bike Yamaha 70% Ducati 25% Honda 4% Pre-2004 who would believe that Yamaha would ever build the best bike in MotoGP? Not Max Biaggi. But when the bridesmaid of Jap motorcycling managed to bag Rossi everything changed. Fast forward to 2008 and suddenly Colin Edwards is performing well on a satellite Yamaha – now that's one hell of a bike. Let's hope the technology filters down to their keyboards. Worst nail Kawasaki 91% Suzuki 4% Ducati 3% It's not often that a category is dominated so much by one entry. Sadly for Kawasaki their green nail was so depressingly slow that it needed a radiator fan to stop it overheating mid-race. West and Hopkins stood no change. Most punchable rider Pedrosa 17% Stoner 14% Melandri 12% Who wouldn't? Well not me for a start. I'd be first in line to kick him in his ovaries. I'm already fed up of writing about him on this article and there's more to come... Biggest Surprise Dovizioso 27% Toseland 19% Lorenzo 12% Despite a bad haircut and being on the slowest of the Slow White Hondas (SWH) the Italian mummy's boy excelled beyond Nicky Hayden's wildest nightmares. MGPN was first to break the news to the world that Andre had impressed Honda enough in the opening four races to land himself a factory ride. Deserved. Biggest Disappointment Melandri 38% Hopkins 21% West 10% Ducati engineers knew the GP08 wasn't the bike for Marco when the Italian failed to appear from his horsebox on day two of the pre-season shakedown at Jerez. Having set times that would make a sunburnt James Ellison blush Marco proved on race day to be slower that Anthony Gobert at answering the countdown conundrum. Come the end of 2008 Ducati towed his horsebox down to pastures new at Kawasaki who in turn pushed if off the edge of a cliff claiming they'd never heard of MotoGP or Marco Melandri and certainly wouldn't be around in 2009 even if they had. Top non-rider you'd like to see attacked by osprey Puig 69% Uccio 10% Foggy 9% The organ grinder. He thinks he's a big player. He thinks he'll win the championship. He thinks we think he's got real hair. You think he's an idiot. You'd be right. Best track Phillip Island 52% Mugello 15% Laguna Seca 13% Could Phillip Island be the greatest circuit ever? It's won this award every single year and in 2008 it received more votes than all the other circuits put together. And why not? It's brilliant. It fast, exciting, undulating and littered with optional extras like suicidal seagulls, violently drunk locals and disenchanted forefather beating their children. Brilliant. Worst track Shanghai 22% Qatar 19% Indianapolis 16% For every J-Lo there's a Deidre Rachide, for every Shergar a Marco Melandri and for every Phillip Island there's a Shanghai. Shanghai is pants. You could build a better circuit using the mini metro Scaletrix set with half the pieces missing. "Oh but it's suppose to look like the Chinese symbol for Chop Suey." Nevertheless MotoGP isn't going back any time soon so the set of commies can shove that up their bean sprout. Funniest moment Pedrosa and Puig 62% You couldn't decide what was your exact favourite moment, but predictably it usually had one or both of these two jokers in it. It's rather odd that two miserable faced, frown-bearers brought you so much joy. Best crash Lorenzo around the world 92% We tried to count up all your votes for Loony's crashes at various circuits. But we ran out of fingers. We then tried getting our computer to count them, but our processor's integer overflowed. In the end we decided that Jorge just wins this award for his single handed attempts to liven up MotoGP by hurling himself around like a chimp in a catapult. Hardest rider Lorenzo 46% Hayden 14% Rossi 12% In a season less interesting than an evening with Kimi Raikkonen at least Jorge did his best to provide some outstanding high speed crashes. With all the true hero riders retired by injury the hardness of MotoGP is more wussy than a non-competitive sports day for 'stay at home' dads. Single-handedly dragging some barb-wire masculinity back into our pink and fluffy sport. Randy's big rider big up King Kenny 29% Sliding Jimmy Fish 14% Paul Newman 12% King Kenny's MotoGP team was a disaster. Even worse than the time he opened his unfortunately named King Kenny's Kanteen. Luckily we all love him. Especially our bald Pro-America chum Randy. Ugliest rider Capirossi 30% Hopkins 19% Melandri 17% Has MotoGP got hotter or is little leaky Loris just getting uglier? Loris fantastically comes in somewhere between chimpanzee and gnome on the ages of man evolutionary scale. But Loris doesn't mind as he still has himself a 'Bernie Ecclestone style' hot piece of Smurfet. Dreamboat Hayden 27% Toseland 26% de Puniet 25% Well as he says numbers don't lie and 15,000 head of cattle can't be wrong. We can only presume that Nicky's extended family got in on the act and voted on mass – another reason to add Earl Hayden to your enemies list. Worst haircut West 54% Dovi 8% Rossi 7% What's this? An Australian with a bad haircut. Anthony joins ever expanding list of other crappy haircutted Aussies like Doohan...which is the only list on earth to feature the pairing. None motorcycling person you hate the most George W Bush 18% Global credit crunch, hurricane Katrina, 9/11, war on terror – we've had some good old fashioned fun with Uncle W - but when it comes to a no holds barred kick up the ronson then Bush is still your number one. With Saint Obama now in the hot seat we wait to see if Barack can figure so highly in the MGPN 2009 awards. To be fair we don't care but just hope that Bono gets it next year. Biggest Beefer Stoner 28% Pedrosa 26% Edwards 16% Always noted for being a bit of a sour faced whiner Casey managed to drop his fanbase to single figures after this year's Laguna battle. Everyone remembers the race...as it was the only race of the year. Rossi, on the backfoot, refused to let Stoner run away with the race fighting the Aussie tooth and nail. In the end Stoner crumbled and fell of at 3mph. Afterwards Stoner, unable to accept he'd been beaten, claimed that Rossi had unfairly raced and not let him win. NEW! Norick Abe award for must courageous rider Lorenzo 39% Rossi 17% Hayden 10% The last, and arguable most prestigious, award goes to our man of 2008. Jorge Lorenzo. He smashed himself up to the point where most of us would have pulled the plug on ourselves but the Spaniard just kept going and going and crashing and crashing. Just when he thought he was on the mend he'd crash some more. But Jorge never complained and sulked. Norick would be proud.