Man Test

[Hondahugger]

MAN TEST
1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are a queer. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet...Faggot.

2. If you have a cat, you are a homo. A cat is like a dog, but queer-- it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its claws, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog... 'Killer, come here! I said get your arse over here, Killer!' Now think about how you call a cat...'Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!' Jeeezus, you're pitched, you're so queer.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, lobster backs, pickled pigs feet, or tits. Anything else and you are a Homo in training and undeniably a fag.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his toilet; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee, you're as camp as a row of tents. A straight man will never be heard ordering a 'Decaf Soy Latte'. If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there too.

6. If you know more than six names of non-standard colours or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and custard, you might as well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a 'fressier' is & nbsp; you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are poofter.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to beep at a slow-ass driver or to cut the prick off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer.

[xx CURVE xx]

WOOHOO I'm straight!

[Amorok]

Yeah, although question six got to me. It says if you know the name of any other textiles, but what about Cordura and that Kevlar mesh inside riding jeans? I know what those are, does that make me suspect? I don't think so.

[t-homo]

Not a homo. Drewpy posted this a month or so ago :P

[Lucky3623]

Guess I'm a homo... I own cats... and wouldn't have it any other way (until I get a house)... an apt is not fair to a dog... Although my cat doesn't know he is a cat...

[xx CURVE xx]

Originally Posted by Lucky3623

Guess I'm a homo... I own cats... and wouldn't have it any other way (until I get a house)... an apt is not fair to a dog... Although my cat doesn't know he is a cat...

[vickibocc]

Not a man...phew!

[Amorok]

Originally Posted by vickibocc

Not a man...phew!

Was there doubt?

[ceo012384]

Nice, I now feel heterosexual.

Originally Posted by t-rock

Not a homo. Drewpy posted this a month or so ago :P

But you take dude's dicks in your ass, so you're disqualified.

[OneSickPsycho]

Apparently it's not that I love the cock... I just have an affinity towards it.