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Old 07-22-2008, 05:04 PM   #21
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Well Kim its a double sided sword on being with them. Its hard to be there, watch it... I'm sorry for making you question it... I was just trying to tell a story. <hugs>
no, it's okay. i was in the room with my mom when she had 2 dogs put down. i grew up with those dogs, so i know what it is like to hold them as they take their last breath. this vet we took the kitty to didn't really make it seem like an option to stay with her as she was euthanized. she said we could say goobye and let her know when it was time. when she did give me the option i was trying to console the kids and opted to go out to the other room with them instead. i think if they weren't there at the time i would have stayed in for it. i must say that watching your pet die is the hardest thing i have ever done, other than watching my father die. it's never easy, whether they are 6 months old or 20 years old. i think not being in there for it may have helped me stay strong for the kids though.
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Old 07-22-2008, 05:22 PM   #22
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Oh yeah I still remember even the sound of my golden taking her last breath. It was horrible and the sound will haunt me till I am in her place taking my last breath.

You can see her collar (on the right) as I said hanging in the garage in memorial.

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Old 07-22-2008, 05:30 PM   #23
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Holding your beloved pet while they pass is by far a terrible and scarring event, and is not something you'll ever forget. My first time was at the age of 11, and for 10 years I never had another pet.

Weighed against you holding your pet tho, or consoling your children, Itgirl you made the right decision. She passed peacefully and your children needed and will need you far more than she did at that moment. Not to mention, if it was that hard for you being out of the room, it would have been much worse if youd been there.
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Old 07-22-2008, 06:26 PM   #24
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Holding your beloved pet while they pass is by far a terrible and scarring event, and is not something you'll ever forget. My first time was at the age of 11, and for 10 years I never had another pet.

Weighed against you holding your pet tho, or consoling your children, Itgirl you made the right decision. She passed peacefully and your children needed and will need you far more than she did at that moment. Not to mention, if it was that hard for you being out of the room, it would have been much worse if youd been there.
try doing it with a person.

I've been there twice, not with a relative of mine, but a person none the less... the first time was scary. She was comfort care only (basically we're only going to dope her up until she dies, because she'd signed away continuing care) and slowing watching her heart rate and blood pressure drop on the monitor was surreal. she had no family, and it was early in the morning, so nobody was really around. by the last ten minutes we just take her off the monitors, and you know they're dead when they stop breathing. then we bag em up. Its a scary reminder of our own mortality.
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Old 07-22-2008, 06:35 PM   #25
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try doing it with a person.

I've been there twice, not with a relative of mine, but a person none the less... the first time was scary. She was comfort care only (basically we're only going to dope her up until she dies, because she'd signed away continuing care) and slowing watching her heart rate and blood pressure drop on the monitor was surreal. she had no family, and it was early in the morning, so nobody was really around. by the last ten minutes we just take her off the monitors, and you know they're dead when they stop breathing. then we bag em up. Its a scary reminder of our own mortality.
Sadly enough, I have but it was someone i knew. It still makes me cry.

My neighbor and her husband were friends of ours. One morning she comes screaming for help, I thought the dog was sick. Turns out it was her husband, she was so distraught she couldnt function. We thought it was a stroke or something, I corresponded with 911, I held him in my arms, tried everything they told me and I was the last person he ever saw. By the time help got there he had slipped away and never woke up. He died the same day. It was an aneurism. I never want to be there again.
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Old 07-22-2008, 07:07 PM   #26
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It sucks, it always does. I had to put down three dogs when I was growing up. All three of them were awesome, they just got old. Not something I'm gonna forget. Sorry that you had go through the same thing.

I also watched my great-grandfather pass in the hospital a couple years back. I can honestly say that I do not want to do anything like that ever again. But I also realize that many of the people around me are honor-bound, and I was there was to honor him as he passed (almost like an honor guard). People get old and eventually we all die, it's just a fact of life and even at that age I understood it. It was just being there with him as he went just so that he wouldn't go alone.
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Old 07-22-2008, 11:24 PM   #27
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i've been there myself as well. had to remove my father from life-support. i coulda chose to wait outside, but i never woulda forgiven myself for not being there holding his hand as he transitioned from this life into the next. he went very peacefully though. no side effects or anything. he was ready. that was a life altering experience that forever changed the person i am.

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Holding your beloved pet while they pass is by far a terrible and scarring event, and is not something you'll ever forget. My first time was at the age of 11, and for 10 years I never had another pet.

Weighed against you holding your pet tho, or consoling your children, Itgirl you made the right decision. She passed peacefully and your children needed and will need you far more than she did at that moment. Not to mention, if it was that hard for you being out of the room, it would have been much worse if youd been there.
thanks, rae. that was beautifully worded. i think i made the right decision in the end.
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Old 07-22-2008, 11:54 PM   #28
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i've been there myself as well. had to remove my father from life-support. i coulda chose to wait outside, but i never woulda forgiven myself for not being there holding his hand as he transitioned from this life into the next. he went very peacefully though. no side effects or anything. he was ready. that was a life altering experience that forever changed the person i am.



thanks, rae. that was beautifully worded. i think i made the right decision in the end.

lol, please forgive me for being a smart ass in a sad situation, but what are typical side effects of death?
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Old 07-23-2008, 12:06 AM   #29
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lol, please forgive me for being a smart ass in a sad situation, but what are typical side effects of death?
well, not to take you too seriously or anything, but the doctor warned us that he may make gurgling/gasping noises or may shake or something (i don't remember everything exactly, was in shock a bit myself). things that might make it appear violent to us, so that we may prepare ourselves. none of that happened though. when the machines stopped, he just slipped quietly away. that's what i was referring to, butthead.
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Old 07-23-2008, 12:22 AM   #30
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well, not to take you too seriously or anything, but the doctor warned us that he may make gurgling/gasping noises or may shake or something (i don't remember everything exactly, was in shock a bit myself). things that might make it appear violent to us, so that we may prepare ourselves. none of that happened though. when the machines stopped, he just slipped quietly away. that's what i was referring to, butthead.
i know IG, but we refer to those as death complications or adverse quietus . most people dont have those sort of problems if they were relatively healthy before being hospitalized. just poking your ribs.
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