Morality question...

TommyHotWheel · 12-10-2010, 11:18 AM

Ok, this is something I am struggling with. I have a son, 8, high functioning Autistic. He lives with my ex, she has been told for 5 years to put him in a "public" school, by the judge...no go, she lies every time. I have just found out that if he was in a program, basic stuff that would be done coinciding with normal school classes, he would have a better than average chance of leading a very normal and productive life. My ex refuses, ignores advice and home schools(without the school district or states sponsorship) and recieves SSI for him. My question, would the normal person consider this neglect? As it stands, in the last few years he is actually regressing without ASD programs or therapies. She pretty much takes him to her Mom's or sister's houses and lets him play video games all day and they sometimes, when he asks, read a book. Thanks for the read and thoughts.

shmike · 12-10-2010, 11:22 AM

What are you asking?

I'm not sure that your "normal" person would see this as neglect but I can see how you as the parent trying to better your son's life would.

Unfortunately, to a "normal" person I think neglect would only be if he were not properly fed, clothed, cared for, etc...

Are you able to get custody or control over your son's educational decisions? Is that what you are leaning toward in your post?

OneSickPsycho · 12-10-2010, 11:24 AM

I don't have kids and I don't have an ex, so my opinion may not be as valid as someone elses.... however, do what's best for your kid. Every time no matter what... that's my plan.

ontwo · 12-10-2010, 11:27 AM

Damn dude. I would be furious. I wouldn't call it "neglect". It sounds like either your ex is 1. A religious nut or 2. Just plain lazy. She is not addressing your child's special needs. Does she just not care? I can't see a judge leaving your child with her under these circumstances. Just remember, document, document, document

pauldun170 · 12-10-2010, 11:28 AM

Let me get this right...

She is keeping him out of school and collecting welfare.

I'm not going to go into details on what the benefits would be using trained professionals and early intervention and how they have a huge impact...

I'd act on this asap.
(Yes In my opinion - Neglecting the special needs of your autistic son by denying him access to trained professionals and early intervention programs can be considered "neglect" and the case can be made in court)

TommyHotWheel · 12-10-2010, 11:41 AM

Thats exactly it Paul...I was looking to see if by not giving my special needs child the care that can better his life, is she guilty of neglect? I have a hard time keeping it short when it comes to my kids. And as for documents, I have almost a full reem of papers, test and recommendations that she is ignoring and I am having her investigated for fraud against the State of Michigan for recieving public support and not following the guidelines for care and monetary asssitance. Now I have to get the judge to give me his thoughts and hopefully make everything right...and then deal with my daughter.

pauldun170 · 12-10-2010, 11:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TommyHotWheel

Thats exactly it Paul...I was looking to see if by not giving my special needs child the care that can better his life, is she guilty of neglect? I have a hard time keeping it short when it comes to my kids. And as for documents, I have almost a full reem of papers, test and recommendations that she is ignoring and I am having her investigated for fraud against the State of Michigan for recieving public support and not following the guidelines for care and monetary asssitance. Now I have to get the judge to give me his thoughts and hopefully make everything right...and then deal with my daughter.

Based on what you have said in this thread, and from what I have seen of Virginia state law you cant say that she is "neglecting" him in the legal sense (as per state code).

However

Quote:

Do my parents have responsibilities for my education?

Yes. First, they must ensure you are enrolled in school. Anyone between the ages of five and 17 is required to attend school. Parents may choose to send their children to a public, private, denominational, or parochial school. If certain requirements are met, parents may also teach their children at home (Code of Virginia §§ 22.1-254 and 22.1-254.1).

Additionally, Virginia law states that parents of students enrolled in a public school have responsibilities to “assist the school in enforcing the standards of student conduct and compulsory school attendance” (Code of Virginia § 22.1-279.3).

Rangerscott · 12-10-2010, 11:40 AM

Ive been around home school kids that are only around family. Its sad to see them with no interacting skills. Say what u want able public schooling but being around other human beings help mold ou into who youll be later in life.

I say mental neglect which is neglect. Get that judge off his ass and show him.

pauldun170 · 12-10-2010, 11:52 AM

Code of Virginia § 63.2-1509

pauldun170 · 12-10-2010, 11:53 AM

I think you might be able to force the issue...but I'm not familiar with Virgina.

Without a proper assessment of your son, familiarity with Virginia law or school system I cant really tell you much of anything other than opinion.

12-10-2010, 11:18 AM	#1
TommyHotWheel Imported from Detroit Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Michigan Moto: 2001 Suzuki TL1000R Posts: 989	Morality question... Ok, this is something I am struggling with. I have a son, 8, high functioning Autistic. He lives with my ex, she has been told for 5 years to put him in a "public" school, by the judge...no go, she lies every time. I have just found out that if he was in a program, basic stuff that would be done coinciding with normal school classes, he would have a better than average chance of leading a very normal and productive life. My ex refuses, ignores advice and home schools(without the school district or states sponsorship) and recieves SSI for him. My question, would the normal person consider this neglect? As it stands, in the last few years he is actually regressing without ASD programs or therapies. She pretty much takes him to her Mom's or sister's houses and lets him play video games all day and they sometimes, when he asks, read a book. Thanks for the read and thoughts. __________________ Cry Havok! And let slip the hogs of war!

12-10-2010, 11:22 AM	#2
shmike Follower Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 5,549	What are you asking? I'm not sure that your "normal" person would see this as neglect but I can see how you as the parent trying to better your son's life would. Unfortunately, to a "normal" person I think neglect would only be if he were not properly fed, clothed, cared for, etc... Are you able to get custody or control over your son's educational decisions? Is that what you are leaning toward in your post? __________________ Racing For Smiles

12-10-2010, 11:27 AM	#4
ontwo Designated Drinker Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: shitville Moto: 2009 ZX6R Posts: 1,661	Damn dude. I would be furious. I wouldn't call it "neglect". It sounds like either your ex is 1. A religious nut or 2. Just plain lazy. She is not addressing your child's special needs. Does she just not care? I can't see a judge leaving your child with her under these circumstances. Just remember, document, document, document __________________

12-10-2010, 11:41 AM	#6
TommyHotWheel Imported from Detroit Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Michigan Moto: 2001 Suzuki TL1000R Posts: 989	Thats exactly it Paul...I was looking to see if by not giving my special needs child the care that can better his life, is she guilty of neglect? I have a hard time keeping it short when it comes to my kids. And as for documents, I have almost a full reem of papers, test and recommendations that she is ignoring and I am having her investigated for fraud against the State of Michigan for recieving public support and not following the guidelines for care and monetary asssitance. Now I have to get the judge to give me his thoughts and hopefully make everything right...and then deal with my daughter. __________________ Cry Havok! And let slip the hogs of war!

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12-10-2010, 11:24 AM	#3
OneSickPsycho Ride Like an Asshole Join Date: Feb 2008 Moto: nothing... Posts: 11,254	I don't have kids and I don't have an ex, so my opinion may not be as valid as someone elses.... however, do what's best for your kid. Every time no matter what... that's my plan.

12-10-2010, 11:40 AM	#8
Rangerscott Viff6N Mutated Warrior Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Texas Moto: '01 Honda VFR 800 & '09 ER-6N Posts: 8,704	Ive been around home school kids that are only around family. Its sad to see them with no interacting skills. Say what u want able public schooling but being around other human beings help mold ou into who youll be later in life. I say mental neglect which is neglect. Get that judge off his ass and show him.