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12-16-2008, 12:29 PM | #1 | |
put it THIS way
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 3,185
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A Woman's Perfect Day
A Woman's Perfect Day
8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses 8:30 Weigh-in 5 lbs lighter than yesterday 8:45 Breakfast in bed-freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants;open presents- expensive jewelry chosen by thoughtful partner 9:15 Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil 10:00 Light work-out at club with sexy, funny personal trainer 10:30 Facial, manicure, makeup application, shampoo, condition, blow wave 12:00 Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor cafe 12:45 Catch sight of partner's ex and notice that she has gained 22lbs 1:00 Shopping with friends: unlimited credit 3:00 Nap 4:00 Three dozen roses delivered by florist; card is from secret admirer 4:15 Massage from strong but gentle hunk-says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body 5:30 Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe 7:30 Candlelit dinner for two followed by dancing, with compliments received from other diners/ dancers 10:00 Hot shower- alone 10:50 Carried to bed. freshly ironed, crisp, white linen 11:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling 11:15 Fall asleep in his big, strong arms A Man's Perfect Day 6:15 Blow job 6:30 Massive, satisfying shit while reading the sports section 7:00 Breakfast-steak and eggs, coffee and toast-all cooked by naked, buxom wench who bends over a lot 7:30 Limo arrives 7:45 Several beers en route to the airport 9:15 Flight in personal Lear jet 9:30 Limo to Mirage Resort Golf Club (blow job en-route) 9:45 Play front nine (2 under par) 11:45 Lunch-steak and lobster, 3 beers and bottle of Dom Peringon 12:15 Blow job 12:30 Play back nine (4 under) 2:15 Limo back to airport (several bourbons) 2:30 Fly to Bahamas 3:30 Late afternoon fishing expedition with all-female crew, all nude who also bend over a lot 4:30 Land world record Marlin (1234lbs)-on light tackle 5:00 Fly home, massage and hand job by naked Elle Macpherson 6:45 Shit, shower and shave 7:00 Watch news- assassinated 7:30 Dinner-lobster appetizers, Dom Peringon (1953), big juicy fillet steak followed by ice cream served on a big pair of tits 9:30 Sex with three women, all with lesbian tendencies 11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing beer 11:30 Night-cap blow job 11:45 In bed alone 11:50 A 22-second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to leave the room 11:51 Laugh yourself to sleep
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12-16-2008, 12:35 PM | #2 |
speed walker
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: in da 305
Moto: Sprint ST
Posts: 325
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lmao
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12-16-2008, 12:36 PM | #3 |
resident gimp
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: SoFla
Moto: a big ole steamin pile of nothin
Posts: 1,344
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Steve Political correctness is killing this country |
12-16-2008, 12:37 PM | #4 |
Better Off
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Hollyweird, FL
Posts: 1,711
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I love being a woman!
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12-16-2008, 12:43 PM | #5 |
Post whorette
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: South Florida
Moto: 2006 GSXR 600-
Posts: 3,992
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Too bad we never get our perfect day
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I'm gonna punch you in the ovary, that's what I'm gonna do. A straight shot. Right to the babymaker. --Ron Burgundy-- Anchorman |
12-16-2008, 12:44 PM | #6 | |
put it THIS way
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 3,185
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12-16-2008, 12:45 PM | #7 |
Post whorette
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: South Florida
Moto: 2006 GSXR 600-
Posts: 3,992
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do the blowjobs count???? If so, then Leon has gotten very close
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I'm gonna punch you in the ovary, that's what I'm gonna do. A straight shot. Right to the babymaker. --Ron Burgundy-- Anchorman |
12-16-2008, 12:49 PM | #8 |
I haven't had that in yrs
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Fort Lauderdale, FL
Moto: 2004 R6
Posts: 439
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Screw doing anything before 9 AM.
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12-16-2008, 12:46 PM | #9 |
Much better off!!
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Hollyweird, FL
Moto: 05 1Krr
Posts: 676
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the guy must have eaten alot to take 2 shits in 1 day and fart before bed
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12-16-2008, 12:48 PM | #10 |
Better Off
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Hollyweird, FL
Posts: 1,711
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nah, it just that most men are full of shit half the time naturally and need a pressure release valve installed.
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