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Old 12-16-2008, 05:23 PM   #31
Captain Morgan
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Originally Posted by fnfalman View Post
When you feel close, cozy, comfortable and just in general wanting to be intimate with me, PLEASE, PLEASE, PRETTY PLEASE with sugar on top, DO NOT FART.

Cuddle with me, hold my hands, kiss me, tongue my asshole, lick my balls, SOMETHING...ANYTHING but FART.

That's just not nice. It's hard for me to appreciate your tenderness when I'm gasping for air and curse myself to heaven for taking you out for that fine gourmet dinner.
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I hooked up with this chick on a handful of occasions.

Once, after doing the deed, she excused herself and went into my bathroom. As I lay there relatively satisfied, I hear something.

Some people "break" wind. This girl destroyed / annihilated / decimated wind. To this day I am not sure if it was a fart or the worlds largest queef.

I regained my composure by the time she came back to the room. Suddenly I was tired and she needed to leave.

We haven't spoken since.
I have one better. I was banging this chick pretty had, had her legs up while I was pounding away and she let one rip out. It wasn't a queef. I instantly put her legs down and went soft. We split up the next day. Granted, I was already planning on breaking up with her, but she wanted to fuck, so I figured, why not? I wish I hadn't.
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Old 12-16-2008, 05:35 PM   #32
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that made me laugh cap'n
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Old 12-16-2008, 05:47 PM   #33
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Are these woman with the "fancy pussies" you talked about picking up with your favorite music?

James
One of them was definitely a "fancy pussy". The other ones range from skanky to average.

The fucked up thing is that they wouldn't even rip ass. At least then I would know. They do it silent & deadly style and caught me with my mouth open.
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Old 12-16-2008, 08:36 PM   #34
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They do it silent & deadly style and caught me with my mouth open.
omfg i damn near spit spaghetti all over my keyboard when i read that.
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Old 12-16-2008, 08:37 PM   #35
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its just "calling" at you to stick your manstick in her brownhole..... plug it up so no more gas can come back out.
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Old 12-16-2008, 11:25 PM   #36
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can't type... laughing too hard...
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Old 12-17-2008, 12:03 AM   #37
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They do it silent & deadly style and caught me with my mouth open.
O M G !!!!

I hurt now
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but I'm perfectly placed when I'm on my knees . . . .
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Old 12-17-2008, 01:03 AM   #38
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One of them was definitely a "fancy pussy". The other ones range from skanky to average.

The fucked up thing is that they wouldn't even rip ass. At least then I would know. They do it silent & deadly style and caught me with my mouth open.
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Old 12-17-2008, 01:08 AM   #39
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I like a chick who's not afraid to drop some ass...
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Old 12-17-2008, 02:06 AM   #40
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if she's hot enough i'll suck the fart straight out of her ass and inhale that bitch
Probably the most disgusting thing I have ever heard in my life.
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