WTF---Never again...

[Amber Lamps]

I would repair it and not mention it. It's not worth it. If she had any common courtesy to begin with it would never have happened. You're not going to "teach" her manners whether you discuss the situation with her calmly or if you blow her head off in a verbal tirade. Why waste your time? Lesson learned.

"Never a lender nor a borrower be" Words of wisdom imho.

[Ineffable]

Originally Posted by Cruzergirl

No sister. I've seen her brother and that would be a BIG no thanks!

Everyone has a mom...

[Kaneman]

-Write her a really nice, polite note letting her know you were disappointed by the damage she caused to your bike, etc, etc.

-Affix said note to hefty brick with piece of string or a nice bow.

-Throw said brick through largest window in house/car.

- Fuck her sister.

- Post video.

[Particle Man]

Originally Posted by Ineffable

Everyone has a mom...

['73 H1 Triple]

Originally Posted by Cruzergirl

But... how do I do so tactfully...?

Take a look at your avatar for an idea on how to express yourself.

But, I am known to be blunt at times.

Jeff

[Cruzergirl]

Originally Posted by '73 H1 Triple

Take a look at your avatar for an idea on how to express yourself.

But, I am known to be blunt at times.

Jeff

Point taken.

We are going up to visit them at the new lodge over New Years so there will be plenty of time for me to be all of the above. Hopefully with a slight edge of Patron on... then I can do this.. and laugh about it later...

[Captain Morgan]

Originally Posted by OTB

A good friend of mine told me once after I got all PO'd about some money I loaned another friend and never did get back...I was getting more and more pissed off; especially because I was "in the right".

He told me that if I wanted to keep my friends, never loan them something I couldn't afford to get back; and if I didn't get cash back, or that something I loaned came back damaged, to decide; what was more important; a thing or friendship?

Decide. If friendship is more important, then be silent, forgive her silently for having human faults, keep her as a dear friend and just never loan her anything AGAIN.

If things are more important, then just keep the resentment ball a'rollin'......

My gift to you,
Merry Christmas

Originally Posted by Ineffable

I'm with Marko on this one. I get the whole 'friends are more important than things' fairy tale world that people live. However, by letting it go you are going to be in a more awkward situation later when she asks to borrow something and THEN you have to explain why you won't let her and she is going to look at it as you holding this grudge the entire time over something she deemed not a big deal because you never said anything.

P.S. IMO it is common courtesy to at least make sure something that you borrow is cleaned up before you give it back to someone.

While OTB's advice is a nice thought, I have to agree with ineffable, to an extent. I can speak from experience here. If you say nothing and let it go, something else will happen. You'll let that go, too, because friends are more important. Then something else will happen and you'll let that go. This cycle will continue until you get fed up with the pile of shit you've let build up and then you will blow up.

I think you need to speak your mind, but in a calm manner. If she blows it off and doesn't give a rat's ass, then you have two choices. 1. Be civil for hubby's sake and his friendship, but never let her borrow another thing. 2. Tell her to fuck off and live an uncomfortable life whenever around her since you'll probably see her often. Hopefully she apologizes and you can get on with friendship.

[RedRider2k2]

Let her know you're serious, Jack Handy style...Light a stick of dynamite. Then call her up and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. 'Hear that?' you say. "That's dynamite, baby."

[OTB]

Originally Posted by Captain Morgan

While OTB's advice is a nice thought, I have to agree with ineffable, to an extent. I can speak from experience here. If you say nothing and let it go, something else will happen. You'll let that go, too, because friends are more important. Then something else will happen and you'll let that go. This cycle will continue until you get fed up with the pile of shit you've let build up and then you will blow up.

I think you need to speak your mind, but in a calm manner. If she blows it off and doesn't give a rat's ass, then you have two choices. 1. Be civil for hubby's sake and his friendship, but never let her borrow another thing. 2. Tell her to fuck off and live an uncomfortable life whenever around her since you'll probably see her often. Hopefully she apologizes and you can get on with friendship.

I never said "Do nothing". Forgiveness is an action. It requires thought, and depending on your proclivities, maybe some prayer, too.

Doing nothing, saying nothing while still harboring ill feelings is as toxic as you say, just putting off the inevitable blow up.

Forgiveness is for MY benefit...not the person I've believed has done me wrong......

By the same token, if I have a friend who constantly does things that injure me in some manner, or who is consistently thoughtless, perhaps I need to examine why I'm friends with that person....I am not a saint, and there are toxic people that I don't need to be around.......

[racedoll]

Originally Posted by Cruzergirl

I wouldn't care if she told me ahead of time "Look, I accidentally scratched your bike. I know this bike is important to you so is there anything I can do to fix it?" If anything like that had been said, I would be perfectly fine right now but it wasn't, and I'm not.

I agree, but she didn't so... I'd go with Neebs suggestion to calmly question her about it and hope for an apology.

This is why I never loan anything to anyone. I'm too anal about them doing something to it. I know it is just a thing but I worked damn hard for that thing to have it screwed up by someone else. I'll keep my friendships by not loaning anything. I can protect my friends that way.