I beat the living crap out of Derf.

[askmrjesus]

I was at a house party, drinking beer in the kitchen, when I heard all this noise coming from the living room. There were fights going on. Well, actually it was just one fight, but everyone at the party was taking turns being in the fight, sorta tag team style.

When the fight got to the kitchen, it's Derf vs. Liam Neeson, and Derf is knocking the shit out of Liam Neesom, and Liam Neesom is pissed. He's pissed because Derf is punching him in the face while yelling, "Hearts, Moons, Stars, and Clovers!" over and over again.

Finally, Liam Neeson is all tired out, and he has a bloody nose, so he looks at me and says, "It's your turn", so I turned around and punched Derf with a left jab. Derf just smiled, and started saying "Punch me, I'm Irish!" over and over again, which was weird, because he was wearing a bright green t-shirt that said "Punch me, I'm Irish!" He was also wearing bright green socks, but they didn't say anything, as far as I could tell.

Anyway, I punched Derf about 9000 times with my left jab, but he just kept smiling like some kind of deranged leprechaun. "Punch me, I'm Irish!" WAM! "Punch me. I'm Irish!" WAM!...This went on for what seemed like an hour, until finally I said, "This is fucking stupid", and I looked for somebody else to hit Derf for a while, but everyone had left except for Liam Neeson. I told Liam Neeson is was his turn again, but he just yelled "PUNCH HIM, HE'S IRISH!" really loud, which I thought was really fucking strange, because I'm pretty sure Liam Neeson is Irish.

I handed Liam Neeson my beer, and punched Derf in the Solar Plexus with a right-uppercut, and he fell down. He still had that same stupid fucking grin on his face, but one of his green socks was missing.

Then I woke up.

Sorry Derf.

JC