Jesus is now BANNED from the Carwash...

[askmrjesus]

The weather has been shit lately, so I decided to go down to the Coin-op, and wash the salt off my truck today.

They have a sign hanging in the bay, that says NO TRUCK BED WASHING in big red letters. I've seen that sign before, and I've always ignored it. It's not like I'm dumping plutonium. I just have a couple hand fulls of leaves back there, and that shit has to go.

So I start washing out the back of my truck like I always do, and some punk-ass, zit-faced kid appears out of nowhere and starts yelling at me.

"Hey! You can't do that!"

"Excuse me?"

"YOU CAN'T DO THAT!"

"It's a hand full of leaves, stop having kittens".

"I SAID, YOU CAN'T DO THAT!"

(At this point, I'm getting just a little bit pissed.)

"Kid, I think it's about time you started thinking about getting out of my face."

"YEAH? OR WHAT ASSHOLE?"

Now, ordinarily, I'm a pretty even tempered guy, but this shit had gone on long enough, and did that little fucknugget just call me an asshole? Yes, I believe he did. So I thought about it for about a tenth of a second, and I said, "Or this".

Then I shot him in the face with the spray gun. (High Pressure, soapy setting)

He looked fairly stunned, but the kid obviously had some kind of learning disability, because after I stopped spraying him, he proceeded to begin to cuss me out again. He only made it to "YOU SON OF A" when I sprayed him again. I kept spraying him until he ran away yelling something about the cops, and I ran out of hose.

I considered leaving, what with the cops coming and all, but I still had seven minutes worth of quarters in the machine, and my truck was still soapy, so I stayed and finished up.

I was pulling my mats off the wall, when the cops rolled up.

The kid comes running back up yelling, "That's him! That's him!".

I would have shot him again, but I was out of quarters.

"Did you spray this boy?" asks the cop.

"Yes sir. Twice."

"Why did you do that?"

"He called me asshole sir, and if I remember right, those are fighting words. He's just lucky I'm too cheap to spring for the hot wax".

The cop laughed, and after a few minutes of the usual blah,blah, blah, he let me go.

JC