Ladies, do something nice for us when you feel intimate

[Captain Morgan]

Originally Posted by fnfalman

When you feel close, cozy, comfortable and just in general wanting to be intimate with me, PLEASE, PLEASE, PRETTY PLEASE with sugar on top, DO NOT FART.

Cuddle with me, hold my hands, kiss me, tongue my asshole, lick my balls, SOMETHING...ANYTHING but FART.

That's just not nice. It's hard for me to appreciate your tenderness when I'm gasping for air and curse myself to heaven for taking you out for that fine gourmet dinner.

Originally Posted by shmike

I hooked up with this chick on a handful of occasions.

Once, after doing the deed, she excused herself and went into my bathroom. As I lay there relatively satisfied, I hear something.

Some people "break" wind. This girl destroyed / annihilated / decimated wind. To this day I am not sure if it was a fart or the worlds largest queef.

I regained my composure by the time she came back to the room. Suddenly I was tired and she needed to leave.

We haven't spoken since.

I have one better. I was banging this chick pretty had, had her legs up while I was pounding away and she let one rip out. It wasn't a queef. I instantly put her legs down and went soft. We split up the next day. Granted, I was already planning on breaking up with her, but she wanted to fuck, so I figured, why not? I wish I hadn't.