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Old 03-25-2009, 08:36 PM   #1
askmrjesus
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Default Aphasia

It all started with Birgit's mother, whom I've never met. Birgit, a friend of my wife, has a mother that makes one of the best Black Forrest Cherry Cakes in all of Germany. For reasons known only to her, it was decided that I nedded one. It was the kind of a cake that was so good, it could cause a person to have a stroke.

So I did.

One minute I am sitting at the table eating cake, the next I'm saying "boorhay mitz serkas mohor" which means "my arm is numb and I can't see" in a language that apparently only stroke victims understand. "Well", I thought to myself, "that can't be good". As it turns out, it was good, at least in the way that getting hit by a train is good, as long it doesn't kill you.

"You almost died", said my doctor in not reassuring english. "Your left cardicotic artery is completely blocked, and you need surgery, or maybe not, we're not sure yet". "Nice to meet you too" I said. At least, I think I said that. "Your brain had a cross over" he continued, "the right artery is doing what the left side normally does. You are very lucky".

I was tempted to tell him that my idea of luck, involved eating cake without my head exploding, but I decided to wait on that one. I have the feeling that between German, English and "Stroke Weillian" something would be lost in translation.

So, now I'm stuck here in a German hospital for at least a week, if not more, waiting for a surgery to repair an artery that was according to Herr Doctor damaged by the radiation treatments that saved my live 16 years ago. Such is life.

In the meantime, I'm teaching the nurses english. Or not. It's hard to say at this point. Just when I'm sure "Sabine" has mastered "I shot J.R.", Yvonne gets "I know how to see the tits on the Land 'O Lakes butter princess" hopelesly jumbled.

It's going to be a long week.

JC



JC's wife here: the stroke happened on Monday evening, and luckily he improved a huge amount in the last 2 days. He wrote (and re-wrote) this "story" this morning on a piece of paper and gave it to me to post. As of now his motor skills are normal, his speach and reading is good (he's reading a lot), but for now, he can't spell right at all - it's called Aphasia .... and I am way to exhausted to proof everthing I typed and/or install an english version of spell check on this computer.



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